Miracles

A miracle - we actually went out this weekend.  We went to the local theatre to see 'Private Lives' which was very enjoyable and a lot cheaper and more convenient than trekking up to London.  It was very funny - very dry but quite poignant in places exploring a somewhat tempestuous relationship and its impact on others.  It was almost a full house and it was good to see local theatre being supported in this way.  They have Arthur Millers 'A View from the Bridge' coming soon so I think we will go and see that too.

We went for a meal first - just at Ask but it was pleasant enough and convenient.  We had wanted to go to a nice little Italian nearer the theatre but they do not open till 6pm so it would have been a bit rushed.

It was just lovely to have a night out rather than the usual sitting indoors watching rubbish and drinking too much.  We need to think more about doing this sort of thing especially when Poppy goes off on her travels and it's just the two of us.

I'm actually quite worried at the prospect of it just being us at home.  At time I just feel we have so little in common that being on our own will show just how little there is.  We are by nature quite insular people: even with each other we can be insular.  Peter is not a natural sharer.  He does not tell me about things like getting a speeding ticket the other day or that he's been successful on a bid on a game he's been after for ages.  Most partners would share that kind of thing but he doesn't feel it's important.  It will come out eventually but in his own sweet time.

He's meeing up with an old friend on Wednesday.  Only this isn't any old friend - it's a woman he used to work with years ago who he had an intense but not physical relationship with.  So intense people thought they were having an affair even though she was married.  She suddenly popped up again via Facebook last year and it hit me hard - so hard I started going to counselling to deal with it.  It made him into a liar, a breaker of promises and it made me break.  I thought history was about to repeat itself.  My ex husband left me out of the blue for a woman he worked with.  I really do mean out of the blue - I had no idea he was even thinking of leaving me, that he wanted out of our marriage, was prepared to lose his children.  My world collapsed and I feared it was about to collapse again regardless about what he told me.  Now I almost have it under control and will not (hopefully) fall apart again.  It's been a difficult time to say the least - well from my point of view anyway.  Maybe miracle number 2 will be that I actually stop giving a damn and just let him get on with it.